if you didn't find what you're looking for,
there're always song lyrics to show.
-happy almost new year ☻

some game.

each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal
answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post
create 11 new questions for the people you tagged
you have to choose 11 people to tag and link them to the post
go to their page and tell them you have tagged him/her
no tag back

11 things about myself
  • i'm bad at relationship stuff
  • i broke my nails and fingers by bite them alot and sometimes they start to bleed. kind of a pain i enjoyed.
  • i easily see things from different side and it makes me hard to choose what's right and what's false. fake or real.
  • alcest is my favorite music group and i think their musics are the best in world
  • i'm more spiritual than religious person
  • i once wrote my own teenlit novel, 5 stories with no ending. the story was so lame. trust me.
  • i'm good at find the melody chord of songs with my pianica and i always thought that i will be a great pianist if only my parents buy me a piano and bring me a private piano tutor and not a math private teacher back when i was in elementery school.
  • i don't know why but i love when someone post me their handwriting letter. it's kind of romantic things i like.
  • i can be on internet all day long until my butt get sick. i also already draw a pink bruise on my right wrist
  • i really want to own a clownfish on the small aquarium (that one look like a glass vase) place near my bed and sleep everyday beside it/her/him. it's weird i know.
okay, these are Hani's question.
What's the strangest talent you have? 
whistling. give me a song, i can whistling any part of the song well haha
What's your favorite TV show(s)?
romantic-com series, travel and culinary, stand-up comedy
What's your favorite color? And why?
all basic colors plus white. they look nice
If you won a lottery of 100 million dollars, what would you do with the money?
100 million dollars?? first thing first i'm gonna post about it at this blog, next thing i'll probably order some pizza
Do you prefer London, Paris, or New York (the state)? 
Do you think it is best to argue or just walk away?
the 'makes thing clear' type of argue not the 'makes thing worst' type of argue
What's your first URL and blog's name? 
*look into address bar. yes, still my first url. first blog name: storyboard
Do you like your surname? And why? 
yes, because i don't hate it
Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?
dark chocolate
Are you too lazy to untie your shoes before you take them off?
major yess
What color starts with the same letter of your first name?
azure (blue cyan)

these are my 11 question.
(i'm not really good at it actually) here it goes,
  • what your favorite song this week?
  • what you did on christmas?
  • have you ever crying at public place?
  • what do you think about a couple who live together without getting married?
  • transformer or harry potter? 
  • what image you'll choose if you want to get a tattoo? why?
  • what your blog's name? and why you choose that one?
  • who is your idol?
  • and what will you say if you meet him/her in person?
  • what your favorite constellation? draw it if you can.
my finger pick them.
Ayie - Anggie - Valent - Timmy - Janit - Tya - Venus - Olen - Marge - Sharin - Rara
ps. i'd like to check yours, but i'm not force you to do this :)


hello there.
happy december and happy christmas season greet first from me. how was your day lately? i hope everything was going well. today i want to make you think deep and also amazed. i've got visual for your eyes, music for ears and issues for our mind.
eyes first. uhm, actually i don't know about you, but i love watercolour painting and illustration, and i really adore all of Amy Borrell illustration, i could stay hours on her page just to stare at her work. she is an illustrator and designer from melbourne.

beautiful don't you think? 
check out all of her work here on her site

i've got an issue too. yesterday i watch a movie, did you guys have seen this movie before? if you're not, you have to. based on a novel by american author, Kathryn Sockett. taken in 1960's mississippi setting. beautiful cinematography, beautiful story. come across the trailer before

what do you quickly think? tell me something, if you're already watch this movie.
i mix you some musics. christmas is coming and holiday is closer, so i just want to relax couple ears by listening to these happy tone playlist.

cinem&arch : great great great fusion!

God i'm CRYING. 
check out the third & the seventh site here

read these.

bold : most loved

All I know is that while I’m asleep, I’m never afraid, and I have no hopes, no struggles, no glories — and bless the man who invented sleep, a cloak over all human thought, food that drives away hunger, water that banishes thirst, fire that heats up cold, chill that moderates passion, and, finally, universal currency with which all things can be bought, weight and balance that brings the shepherd and the king, the fool and the wise, to the same level. There’s only one bad thing about sleep, as far as I’ve ever heard, and that is that it resembles death, since there’s very little difference between a sleeping man and a corpse
-Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world
-Lemony Snicket

When a baby comes into the world, its hands are clenched, right? Like this?” He made a fist. “Why? Because a baby, not knowing any better, wants to grab everything, to say the whole world is mine. But when an old person dies, how does he do so? With his hands open. Why? Because he has learned his lesson.” “What lesson?” I asked. He stretched open his empty fingers. “We can take nothing with us.
-Mitch Albom

That idea is strange to me. People keep on loving. People keep on loving even if you are not there in their face everyday to remind them? People keep on loving even if they no longer see you at all? People keep on loving even if they are loving someone else? Impossible: to believe you can be loved in absence when you don’t even know how it feels to be loved when you are there.
-Camilla Gibb

It didn’t and doesn’t turn out well. There is no happy ending to the story of sorrow if you are born with a predilection for despair. The world is, after all, a coarse and brutal and cruel place. It’s only a matter of how long you can live with it.
-Elizabeth Wurtzel

And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about
-Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

If you want to write, if you want to create, you must be the most sublime fool that God ever turned out and sent rambling. You must write every single day of your life. You must read dreadful dumb books and glorious books, and let them wrestle in beautiful fights inside your head, vulgar one moment, brilliant the next. You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads. I wish you a wrestling match with your Creative Muse that will last a lifetime. I wish craziness and foolishness and madness upon you. May you live with hysteria, and out of it make fine stories — science fiction or otherwise. Which finally means, may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world
-Ray Bradbury

source http://atomos.tumblr.com/

20 hal yang dipikirkan ayrine hari ini (pagi-siang jam stengah12)

  1. lumayan kaget waktu bangun tidur, di samping ada mp3 gw, dan pas gw cek, lagunya masih nyala, fix banget bakal cepet rusak itu benda di tangan gw, sering banget ketiduran dengan masih pake earphone.
  2. hari ini libur, jadi harus masak (berdua tante gw). bikin menu yang itu- itu aja (karena bisanya cuma itu- itu aja) yang gw pikirin adalah, kenapa baso itu baunya bisa nempel lama banget di tangan biarpun udh cuci tangan pake sabun, gw mulai takut semua barang yg gw sentuh sesudahnya jadi bau daging-bulat yg masih mentah itu.
  3. tadi kaget denger bunyi mangga jatoh dari pohon gw, gw pun berfikir, siapa yang sekarang bakal manjat ngambilin mangga yang udah mateng di pohon? (biasanya bokap)
  4. siapa juga yang bisa bikin manisan mangga yang enak kalau bukan bokap?
  5. tadi oma mecahin gelas. udah yang kedua kali. gw jadi mikir, kayaknya oma butuh babysitter yang stay terus di samping dia.
  6. tadi juga oma bilang mau muntah, gw kasih obat dia ga mau, terus ketiduran, pas bangun tadi keliatannya udah ga kenapa- napa, waktu ditanya dia juga udah lupa tadi dia bilang mau muntah. baguslah gw lebih lega.
  7. udah jam sebelas lewat, kakak gw belom bangun, dia kuliah jam berapa ya? enak jadi dia, kalau kuliah jam satu berangkat jam setengah satu, nah kalau gw? kuliah jam 10 gw harus berangkat jam 8, bangun jam 7. hiks.
  8. mau bikin mixtape lagi
  9. gw ngetik ini dengan tangan abis motong baso, semoga kakak gw ga ngeh kalau keyboardnya bau baso.
  10. kenapa juga gw ngomongin baso lagi? kan tadi udah di nomor 2.
  11. yakan nomor dua sama sembilan jauh ya.
  12. oke, gw udah membuang- buang nomor gw dengan percuma.
  13. pingin gambar sesuatu pake spidol terus ke rumah zella (sepupu gw) numpang scan.
  14. pingin beli scanner tapi ga punya duit. tolong bagi dong yang punya. duit maksudnya.
  15. nanti jam satu rencananya mau ke gramed, semoga aja buku referensi tentang flat atau apartment ada ya, yang gw liat biasanya sih, kebanyakan tentang rumah. buat referensi tugas gw nih.
  16. oke gw jadi kepikiran tugas.  ga bagus ga bagus.
  17. barusan aja, ada mba-mba namanya Nia, dia dari citra tenda katanya, dia nanya pembayaran tenda yang minggu lalu disewa nyokap, karena nyokap ga ada (lagi kerja) diapun langsung pergi.
  18. gw abis nelfon nyokap, kata nyokap 'loh bukannya udah diurus pa RT?'loh mana gw tau -_- 
  19. tadi tante gw nyodorin ke gw kentang yang abis di goreng, dia nanya udah mateng blom 'uh ud ughda udgha kogh' --> gw gabisa menjawab terlalu jelas karena lagi kepanasan
  20. sekarang kalian tau menu makan siang hari ini. kentang dan baso. plok plok plok

run away

close your facebook, close your twitter, your tumblr, your blogspot, wordpress, your own website, last fm, grooveshark, close your currently buffering video on you tube, google, your messenger, and or whatever you've been opening or browsing right now,
they all can wait.
and try some of these.
these are some of my favorite place on the internet besides tons of those social network.




e n j o y

p.s if you knew one or some of internet place(s) like these,
please do notice me, i'd love to check it out.
thanks (:

Incognito | mixtape

silents you live, then die in silents if you please. if you had just feel kind of situation i mean,
then at the moment we share the same things.I believe we both hear that steps.
See a stab which bring us to anything but one.
We once looking for nothing but then see something, a glance once I made, I made only for you.
I only taste things from your tongue and only hear things from your lips. I'll never let myself die without kill you first. and never let myself breath without hear your heart, beat.
again you know, we were mean for each other.
Silents you live, silents you die
Dorena - Fantasia
Dorena - Solen Har Förblindat Mej
Sigur Ros -Sæglópur
City and Colour - O Sister
Alcest - Solar Song
Alcest - Surl'océan couleur de fer
Iain Thomas - The Point Past Peak Feelings
Oceansize- Music for a nurse

Bold what applies to you

I am a male.
I am a girl
I am shorter than 5’4.
I think I’m ugly.
I have many scars.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I want a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my body.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have a piercing in a place other than my ears
I have freckles.
I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve run away from home.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I’m in school.
I’ve lost a child.
I have a job.
I’ve fallen asleep at work/school.
I almost always do/did my homework.
I’ve missed a week or more of school.
I’ve stolen something from my job.
I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I’ve peed from laughing.
I’ve snorted while laughing
I’ve cried from laughing so hard.
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve had my pants rip in public.
I was born with a disease/impairment.
I’ve broken a bone.
I’ve gotten stiches/staples.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
I’ve had chicken pox.
I’ve had measles.
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been to Canada.
I’ve been to Mexico.
I’ve been to Niagra Falls.
I’ve been to Japan.
I’ve celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I’ve been to Europe
I’ve been to Africa.
I’ve been to Hawaii.
I’ve gotten lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star.
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
I’ve been to a casino
I’ve been skydiving.
I’ve gone skinny dipping.
I’ve played spin the bottle.
I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a play.
I’ve met someone in person from Facebook.
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern lights.
I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
I’ve played chicken.
I’ve played a prank on someone
I’ve ridden in a taxi.
I’ve seen Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I’ve eaten sushi.
I’ve been snowboarding.
I’m single.
I’m in a relationship.
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I’ve been the dumped more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I’ve gotten divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve kept something from a past relationship.
I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
I’ve hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.
I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I’ve snuck out of my house.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve cheated on a test.
I’ve run a red light.
I’ve been suspended from school.
I’ve witnessed a crime.
I’ve been in a fist fight.
I’ve been arrested.
I’ve passed out from drinking.
I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
I’ve smoked.
I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
I’ve eaten mushrooms.
I’ve inhaled Nitrous.
I’ve done hard drugs.
I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
i have 3 pills at a time no problem.
I have been diagnosed with depression.
I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
I’ve taken an anti-depressant.
I have been anorexic or bulimic
I’ve spent an entire day without needing to go pee.
I’ve slept in past 2 pm.
I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
I’ve woken up crying.
I’m afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I’ve seen someone dying.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.
I’ve planned my own suicide.
I’ve attempted suicide.
I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own an IPod or an MP3 player.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own something from Hot Topic.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect comic books.

last song

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then 

He was there. right after me, listen to the radio while i'm busy on my computer. he was my only one soul mate to chat, about anything. when my mom doesn't know a thing and my brother doesn't understand a thing. we both are the perfect couple in our house. my ear big just like him, my eyebrows thick, just like him, my mind set just like him. he once made me cry. and also made me laugh. 

Spin me around till I fell asleep 
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved 

I can't watch tv without remembering his favorite shows, I can't eat without remembering his favorite dishes, i can't listen musics without remembering his favorite song, I can't look around the house without remember his favorite spot. I can't write without remember his handwriting. I just can't. without him. These five days feel just like him going out of town to work and will go home as soon as possible. I keep looking for a door and telling myself, he'll be right there again. I also keep looking at my phone and telling myself, he'll call. 

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him 
I’d play a song that would never, ever end 
How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again 

View months ago, he always bothers me to play some of his favorite song while I'm on the internet. I've download some and arrange them into a playlist I named, lagu papa. Usually we both sing along all of these songs, and there's nothing I can do to help my bad voice when trying to reach some refrains high note and that made him laugh. I play it again now, and there's nothing I can do to help myself didn't cry.

If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again 

what can I do about being tough? 
I miss him already. 

Dance with my Father - Luther Vandross
5 th of November 2011 - Rest In Peace my Beloved Father.
selamat jalan pa, sampai ketemu lagi nanti. 
ade sayang papa

People changed, so did my pillow.

waktu TK, gw punya sebuah bantal guling. gw ga akan bisa tidur tanpa bantal itu, di salah satu ujung bantal itu ada kayak tonjolan tonjolan busa yang rasanya enak banget kalo di gosok- gosok di bibir. baunya enak buat diendus- endus. oke ini kedengerannya pasti aneh banget, tapi faktanya gw besar dengan keadaan seperti itu, maksudnya, keadaan suka ngendus-gosok-bibir-bantal.
waktu kira- kira kelas 3 atau 4 SD, si bantal tonjolan itu udah ga bisa di pakai lagi, istilahnya udah ga layak lagi, busanya udah kempes, berantakan, dan udah terlalu pendek juga buat gw, akhirnya dengan sedih hati gw relakan lah itu bantal kesayangan gw.
sebagai gantinya nyokap beliin gw bantal baru, bentuknya tweety, warnanya kuning, ada mata sama bibirnya yang nonjol warna merah. walaupun awalnya gw merasa telah ngehianatin bantal gw yang lama (entah pemikiran aneh apa ini haha) gw pun mulai nyaman dengan bantal tweety gw itu, bibir merah nonjol itu fix banget jadi sasaran gosok-gosok bibir gw yang baru. 
setelah super pewe dan ngerasa ga bisa dipisahkan lagi sama si bantal tweety, kejadian yang sama terulang lagi waktu SMP bantal itu udah hampir ga bisa dipakai, busa- busanya yang suka keluar- keluar udah kena tambelan jahitan (dari nyokap yang ngejaiitin, sampe akhirnya gw bisa ngejait sendiri) tapi gw ga kehabisan akal, gw copot bibir tweetynya terus gw jahit di bantal yang lebih padet dan ukurannya lebih panjang.
gw pun sukses melewati masa- masa SMP dan SMA dengan bantal gw aman nyaman dan selamat.
beberapa hari yang lalu, pas malem, waktu gw lagi meluk cium bantal gw, tiba- tiba ngerasa ada yang aneh.gw buka sarungnya gw cek, dan ternyata bibir tweety itu udah robek dan busanya udah mau tumpah. gw rapi- rapiin, masih bisa sih tapi paling cuma beberapa lama aja.
terus gw mikir, mungkin emang udah saatnya gw pisah sama bibir tweety itu, kalo inget beberapa tahun yang lalu, nyokap bokap, kakak gw emang udah sering bawel," mau sampe kapan tuh tidur pake bantal kayak gitu?"
gw sih selalu cuek dan jawab dalem hati " ya sampe selama-lamanya laah"
kok konyol banget ya. 
gw ga pernah bisa ngebayangin bantal itu udah ga ada, gw juga ga bayangin, gw ga akan pernah bisa nyiumin bantal itu lagi. tapi terus gw mikir, bisa aja sih kalo pas study tour sekolah, nginep dimana gitu, gw juga ga pake bantal kan? terus gw tetep bisa tidur kan? ga mati kan?
jawabannya, iyalah masih bisa tidur, orang udah ngantuk capek banget, masa ketemu kasur sama ac ga ketiduran?
gw pun memutuskan buat ngebuang bantal yang udah ga layak pakai itu, dan ganti dengan bantal yang baru, tentunya ga usah yang berbibir- bibiran lagi. 
wih gw ngerasa ini salah satu jalan besar yang gw ambil di hidup gw (sounds hyperbolic :P) abisnya, bukan sebulan dua bulan tapi udah 12 tahun lebih gw ngejalanin kebiasaan gw ini.
Hari minggu kemaren di gereja gw ketemu teman gw. dia curhat kalau dia lagi kebeban banget sama masalahnya, dia udah pacaran hampir empat tahun dan dia udah sangat sangat sayang sama cowonya, gw liat matanya dan yup, she desperately in love with him. masalahnya karena perbedaan kepercayaan orang tua cowonya itu ga setuju dan akhirnya jadi benci banget sama dia, dia sampe di bilang cewek sial segala. (sinetron banget ye-_-) tapi faktanya di sebut cewe sial oleh orang tua pacar sendiri, tanpa pacar lo ngebelain lo itu kedengeran sakit banget ya. cowonya bahkan bilang ke dia, kalo dia harus nyari cowo lain aja, mereka ga bisa sama- sama lagi, di saat temen gw itu mati- matian ga mau putus.
"gw udah terlalu sayang sama dia rin" matanya bilang: gw ga akan mau putus. titik.
terus gw bilang gini
"lo tau bantal berbibir gw kan? kemaren udah gw buang loh"
"seriuss riin" kata temen gw rada kesel
"gw udah 12 tahun hidup sama bantal itu dan gw ngebuang dia karena emang harus. ada hal- hal yang ga bisa dimilikin selamanya"
"tapi gw ga bisa hidup tanpa dia rin"
"gw juga. gw gabisa tidur tanpa bantal itu. jawabannya: apa gw bisa nahan mata gw tetep kebuka? toh pada akhirnya gw tetep akan tidur. lo juga. lo gabisa hidup tanpa dia. jawabannya: apa lo mau stuck selamanya? toh pada akhirnya lo tetep akan ngejalanin hidup lo"

kita pun sama- sama berfikir.
things changed, there are things we can't hold forever.

would be better

by Jun Kumaori
kejadian kerusuhan antar agama, pemboman tempat ibadah, dan hal hal tentang perkelahian akibat beda kepercayaan lumayan mengusik pikiran saya.
kenapa bisa, agama yang seharusnya mengajarkan hal baik, malah jadi titik tolak untuk menyakiti orang lain, yang udah jelas adalah bukan hal yang baik ?
kenapa juga kita mati- matian membela Tuhan, bukannya Tuhan itu jauh lebih berkuasa dari kita ?
kenapa kita mengaku berdiri atas nama Tuhan untuk segala hal yang jahat, bukannya kita malah secara tidak langsung menunjukan bahwa Tuhan itu jahat ?
kenapa kita jadi berhak menentukan hidup- mati orang lain di saat kita bahkan tidak mampu menciptakan seekor semut hitam kecil ?
hal - hal seperti ini membuat saya jadi berandai- andai.
andaikan semua sama.
tidak ada yang berbeda,
gak ada Tuhan dia, atau Tuhan saya,
Tuhan hanya satu,
andaikan agama itu gak ada,
semua orang percaya Tuhan, percaya kalau Tuhan itu ada, dan kuasanya nyata, tapi kita tidak perlu agama manapun untuk menyatakannya, kita percaya tulus dari hati kita, dan ngejalanin hidup dengan baik.

kalau emang selama ini perbedaan itulah yang menjadi masalah kita,
coba deh kita berandai kalau perbedaan itu gak ada,
mungkin semua bisa jadi lebih baik.

terus terluka, kita.

Fun. Fun.

Banyak kejadian lucu akhir- akhir ini.
lucu sampai bikin ketawa sampai sakit perut
kadang malah bener- bener lucu.
sedikit ajaib.
ada seorang bapak jalan di pedestrian depan gedung kantor.
sambil sibuk dengan handphone dia jalan terus.
ga sengaja kesandung pot bunga pinggir jalan.
jatoh. lumayan gedebuk.
terus marah.
"orang bodoh mana sih yang naroh pot segede ini di pinggir jalan!"

ada yang ngantongin handphonenya
waktu di bis, dia ngantuk.
bener- bener ngantuk
sampe di rumah dia baru nyadar,
handphonenya hilang.
terus marah
"dasar copet sial!"

ada tim bola yang latihan kurang maksimal
agak meremehkan lawan.
mereka kalah.
terus marah
"Pelatih kita ga bener!"

ada yang hidup susah
punya 4 anak.
lahir lagi anak ke- lima
mereka udah ga sanggup lagi.
si kelima di jual sama orang lain,
yang lebih sanggup.
tahunan kemudian, anak itu akhirnya sukses.
mereka datang.
tapi sayang anak itu benci. dia ga mengakui
mereka terus marah
"anak kurang ajar!"

hidup selalu menyediakan pilihan.
untuk sadar.
atau menyalahkan hal lain.
lucu. lucu.

visualitations that makes me think

i love to watch.
yesterday mid night when i didn't like to sleep and don't know what to do,
finally i remember it myself : i love to watch.
turn on my tv. browse the channel.
'knowing to elevate' channel station.
i saw a movie about to starting,
animation movie.
kind of animation that i like.
i feel i'll love this
then i watch and watch and watch.
and i think. think and think
now i feel feel and feel.
really, i LOVE this movie.


you know i didn't watch dvd or cable tv.
so yeah i've got a commercials too.
i hate a commercials between a good movie.
but at that time,
i like one.
it's only take a view minutes
i watch it. and i think.
a bit quirky,
but i think can make you think about something.
and i think it will be different opinions.
i like this


and thats how the night ended.

my very first.

made by the awesome girl from I Believe in My Dreams blog.
this is really sweet and she's right, purple is my favorite colour :)
thanks a lot Romyandina !

is it today?

satu kata yang menggambarkan perasaan gw. Kemarin malem gw ngeliat banyak orang kuat di Jakarta.
orang kuat yang pertama namanya Mbak pintu busway.
semakin kesini ternyata busway jadi pilihan banyak orang di Jakarta buat pergi kemana- mana, dan kebetulan kemaren gw menjadi salah satu orang tersebut. Gw naik busway dari halte harmoni - lb.bulus dan disanalah gw ketemu Mbak pintu busway itu.
awalnya gw sempet kaget, ternyata penjaga pintu busway ada juga yang cewek, wih gw salut.
kuat juga ya mereka berdiri berapa jam tanpa duduk sama sekali. jadi yang paling kejepit kalau bus penuh dan jadi yang paling ngiler kalo bus lagi kosong (karena tetep aja ga bisa duduk)
Mereka cewek dan saat itu udah jam 9 malem, gw jadi mikir gini:
"mereka pulang jam berapa?"
"rumahnya dimana?"
"jauh ga ya?"
oke lanjut.
Orang kuat yang kedua adalah si bapak sikut.
masih seputar busway, waktu dari arah senen - harmoni busway yang gw naikkin penuh sesak parah. bisa naik aja gw udah syukur banget. maklum, mungkin karena itu pas banget jam disaat segala orang pulang. sejujurnya desek-desekan di bis itu agak menyebalkan. bayangin aja kalau lo harus sentuh- sentuhan sama orang yang ga lo kenal ?! tapi karena naik taksi mahal ya udah. daripada ga bisa pulang.
balik lagi ke bapak sikut.
waktu akhirnya sampe di halte harmoni dan kita semua (penumpang bis) harus turun (karena pemberhentian terakhir)
zess.. pintu busway kebuka.
semua pelan- pelan ngelangkah.
tiba- tiba dari arah kerumunan di  sisi kanan bis (kebetulan gw ada di sisi kiri) kedengeran ribut-ribut gitu.
mbak pintu busway: "Sabar pak, berhentinya lama kok. Astaga!"
suara cewek: "Aduh pak sikutnya!"
gw mikir -__- apaan tuh sikut- sikut
gw memperlambat langkah demi ngeliat ada apa.
beberapa waktu kemudian dari kerumunan muncul bapak- bapak bawa tas lumayan gede pake kemeja cokelat muda jalan cepet ke arah pintu keluar sambil nyikutin orang- orang buat buka jalan buat dia.
iya bener NYIKUTIN aja gitu orang-orang yang ada di depan dia.
gila juga. jago silat nih pastinya.
fix kan? si bapak sikut ini pun akhirnya masuk ke dalam kategori 'orang kuat' dan juga rada SARAP.

sebenernya gw agak jarang sih naik busway, tapi entah kenapa setiap naik, setelah itu ada aja hal lucu yang bisa ditulis.

Not like everyone else

Pada hari itu gw kenalan dan ngobrol sama beberapa orang yang beda dengan kebanyakan yang ada di sekitar gw. Kenapa gw bilang berbeda?
pertama, di saat orang ini harus berangkat jam enam dari rumah, nempuh perjalanan 2 jam dengan ongkos 35 ribu pulang pergi untuk ngelamar dan interview kerja, di saat yang dan jam yang sama ada orang itu yang lagi bobo pules mimpi indah setelah semalem abis nonton transformer 3d midnight di mall sama temen- temennya ngabisin duit beberapa ratus buat nonton makan dan pulang naik taksi (karena kebetulan supirnya ga bisa jemput)
Hidup kadang agak miris.
gw kebetulan ngobrol sama kedua orang ini. pembicaraan yang terbentuk juga beda.
kalau sama yang ini
"tadi di ajak nonton, tapi aku udah nonton, kalau yang 3d aku baru mau deh, tapi males kalau kepisah sendiri, gimana nih?"
sementara kalau sama yang itu
"iya aku butuh banget nih, soalnya aku tuh ngebiayain kuliahku sendiri, ayah sama ibu udah ga kerja dua - duanya"
yang satu pusing karena dia belom dapet kerjaan buat ngebiayain kuliah dan keluarganya, yang satu pusing karena dia takut nonton sendiri kalau yang lain nonton yang bukan 3d.
yang menarik menurut gw adalah, hidup ternyata bisa menjadi sangat berbeda antara yang satu dengan yang lain di saat mereka sama - sama menghirup udara yang sama, menginjak tanah yang sama di umur yang sama.
Nasib? belom tentu.
hidup itu memang kadang agak miris.

Young Blood

source : we ♥ it
We're all young and naive still
We require certain skill
The motive changes like the wind
Hard to control when it begins
The bittersweet between my teeth
Trying to find the in-between
Fall back in love eventually
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Can't help myself but count the flaws
Claw my way out through these walls
One temporary escape
Feel it start to permeate
We lie beneath the stars at night
Our hands gripping each other tight
You keep my secrets hope to die
Promises, swear them to the sky
The bittersweet between my teeth
Trying to find the in-between
Fall back in love eventually
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

As it withers Brittle it shakes
Can you whisper
As it crumbles and breaks
As you shiver Count up all your mistakes
Pair of forgivers
Let go before it's too late
Can you whisper
Can you whisper
Can you whisper
Can you whisper

The bittersweet between my teeth
Trying to find the in-between
Fall back in love eventually
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
The bittersweet between my teeth
Trying to find the in-between
Fall back in love eventually
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

{ Young Blood - The naked and famous }