A dream to chase

I don't know why, i always love to watch movies about people who chase their own dreams.
I love Betty Suarez (on Ugly Betty Movie series) who keep struggle to stay at the place that she believe are the right place for her and her dream even if she must face a difficult condition.
I also love Lee Seo Jung on Style-Korean drama who throw away her pride and follow all of her chief command. all she wants is to be a good editor for her magazine corporation.
Some people are lucky.
they born and raise from the perfect family which make them easier to reach their dreams. They got talent and money and also big chance.
Some people aren't that lucky.
they must do a hard effort and sometimes hurt theirself.
A person who will do anything to reach their dreams always make me attracted. And at the same time, make me shame.
to be honest, i'm not that kind of both person.
i don't have the perfect family that capable to help me reach my dream, and also not that type of will-do-anything-to-make-dream-comes-true person.
for examples,
if i late for my bus on the way to college even if that bus not yet go far and i still can see the back of that bus, i'll never run to chase. i'll wait for another bus and if it doesn't come, well i'll just go home and add my absent list.
in a relationship, if he want to break up, well i'll say yes.
if i feel really excited to play computer, but suddenly the electricity turns off well, i'll just go to sleep without waiting at all.
when i watch the 2012 movie, i feel well if the world wants to blow up, then just blow up.
so now you see the reason why i feel ashamed.
i'm that kind of 'let go' and 'give up' person.
Well, i also have a dream. i just feel a little confuse about to reach them or not. can i? can't i?
i feel my dream is too big to be reach.asking to many question, make me not go forward at all.
a year ago,
when i went home with my new college friend, and at the time we late for the bus. That big white bus already go too far. but you know what, my friend run! i keep whining behind her 'its go too far to be chase!' but i also keep running behind her.
after some time when i finally get to know her, i realize that she's a very strong girl.
that pursuit-too-far-bus accident is the simpliest example about her character. even if at the last, we both fail to chase that bus, our effort to run was teach me something.

i always pray and ask what i'm suppose to do, then a year ago finally God answer those questions through that friend.


thank you ☺