cinem&arch : great great great fusion!

God i'm CRYING. 
check out the third & the seventh site here

read these.

bold : most loved

All I know is that while I’m asleep, I’m never afraid, and I have no hopes, no struggles, no glories — and bless the man who invented sleep, a cloak over all human thought, food that drives away hunger, water that banishes thirst, fire that heats up cold, chill that moderates passion, and, finally, universal currency with which all things can be bought, weight and balance that brings the shepherd and the king, the fool and the wise, to the same level. There’s only one bad thing about sleep, as far as I’ve ever heard, and that is that it resembles death, since there’s very little difference between a sleeping man and a corpse
-Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world
-Lemony Snicket

When a baby comes into the world, its hands are clenched, right? Like this?” He made a fist. “Why? Because a baby, not knowing any better, wants to grab everything, to say the whole world is mine. But when an old person dies, how does he do so? With his hands open. Why? Because he has learned his lesson.” “What lesson?” I asked. He stretched open his empty fingers. “We can take nothing with us.
-Mitch Albom

That idea is strange to me. People keep on loving. People keep on loving even if you are not there in their face everyday to remind them? People keep on loving even if they no longer see you at all? People keep on loving even if they are loving someone else? Impossible: to believe you can be loved in absence when you don’t even know how it feels to be loved when you are there.
-Camilla Gibb

It didn’t and doesn’t turn out well. There is no happy ending to the story of sorrow if you are born with a predilection for despair. The world is, after all, a coarse and brutal and cruel place. It’s only a matter of how long you can live with it.
-Elizabeth Wurtzel

And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about
-Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

If you want to write, if you want to create, you must be the most sublime fool that God ever turned out and sent rambling. You must write every single day of your life. You must read dreadful dumb books and glorious books, and let them wrestle in beautiful fights inside your head, vulgar one moment, brilliant the next. You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads. I wish you a wrestling match with your Creative Muse that will last a lifetime. I wish craziness and foolishness and madness upon you. May you live with hysteria, and out of it make fine stories — science fiction or otherwise. Which finally means, may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world
-Ray Bradbury


20 hal yang dipikirkan ayrine hari ini (pagi-siang jam stengah12)

  1. lumayan kaget waktu bangun tidur, di samping ada mp3 gw, dan pas gw cek, lagunya masih nyala, fix banget bakal cepet rusak itu benda di tangan gw, sering banget ketiduran dengan masih pake earphone.
  2. hari ini libur, jadi harus masak (berdua tante gw). bikin menu yang itu- itu aja (karena bisanya cuma itu- itu aja) yang gw pikirin adalah, kenapa baso itu baunya bisa nempel lama banget di tangan biarpun udh cuci tangan pake sabun, gw mulai takut semua barang yg gw sentuh sesudahnya jadi bau daging-bulat yg masih mentah itu.
  3. tadi kaget denger bunyi mangga jatoh dari pohon gw, gw pun berfikir, siapa yang sekarang bakal manjat ngambilin mangga yang udah mateng di pohon? (biasanya bokap)
  4. siapa juga yang bisa bikin manisan mangga yang enak kalau bukan bokap?
  5. tadi oma mecahin gelas. udah yang kedua kali. gw jadi mikir, kayaknya oma butuh babysitter yang stay terus di samping dia.
  6. tadi juga oma bilang mau muntah, gw kasih obat dia ga mau, terus ketiduran, pas bangun tadi keliatannya udah ga kenapa- napa, waktu ditanya dia juga udah lupa tadi dia bilang mau muntah. baguslah gw lebih lega.
  7. udah jam sebelas lewat, kakak gw belom bangun, dia kuliah jam berapa ya? enak jadi dia, kalau kuliah jam satu berangkat jam setengah satu, nah kalau gw? kuliah jam 10 gw harus berangkat jam 8, bangun jam 7. hiks.
  8. mau bikin mixtape lagi
  9. gw ngetik ini dengan tangan abis motong baso, semoga kakak gw ga ngeh kalau keyboardnya bau baso.
  10. kenapa juga gw ngomongin baso lagi? kan tadi udah di nomor 2.
  11. yakan nomor dua sama sembilan jauh ya.
  12. oke, gw udah membuang- buang nomor gw dengan percuma.
  13. pingin gambar sesuatu pake spidol terus ke rumah zella (sepupu gw) numpang scan.
  14. pingin beli scanner tapi ga punya duit. tolong bagi dong yang punya. duit maksudnya.
  15. nanti jam satu rencananya mau ke gramed, semoga aja buku referensi tentang flat atau apartment ada ya, yang gw liat biasanya sih, kebanyakan tentang rumah. buat referensi tugas gw nih.
  16. oke gw jadi kepikiran tugas.  ga bagus ga bagus.
  17. barusan aja, ada mba-mba namanya Nia, dia dari citra tenda katanya, dia nanya pembayaran tenda yang minggu lalu disewa nyokap, karena nyokap ga ada (lagi kerja) diapun langsung pergi.
  18. gw abis nelfon nyokap, kata nyokap 'loh bukannya udah diurus pa RT?'loh mana gw tau -_- 
  19. tadi tante gw nyodorin ke gw kentang yang abis di goreng, dia nanya udah mateng blom 'uh ud ughda udgha kogh' --> gw gabisa menjawab terlalu jelas karena lagi kepanasan
  20. sekarang kalian tau menu makan siang hari ini. kentang dan baso. plok plok plok

run away

close your facebook, close your twitter, your tumblr, your blogspot, wordpress, your own website, last fm, grooveshark, close your currently buffering video on you tube, google, your messenger, and or whatever you've been opening or browsing right now,
they all can wait.
and try some of these.
these are some of my favorite place on the internet besides tons of those social network.




e n j o y

p.s if you knew one or some of internet place(s) like these,
please do notice me, i'd love to check it out.
thanks (:

Incognito | mixtape

silents you live, then die in silents if you please. if you had just feel kind of situation i mean,
then at the moment we share the same things.I believe we both hear that steps.
See a stab which bring us to anything but one.
We once looking for nothing but then see something, a glance once I made, I made only for you.
I only taste things from your tongue and only hear things from your lips. I'll never let myself die without kill you first. and never let myself breath without hear your heart, beat.
again you know, we were mean for each other.
Silents you live, silents you die
Dorena - Fantasia
Dorena - Solen Har Förblindat Mej
Sigur Ros -Sæglópur
City and Colour - O Sister
Alcest - Solar Song
Alcest - Surl'océan couleur de fer
Iain Thomas - The Point Past Peak Feelings
Oceansize- Music for a nurse

Bold what applies to you

I am a male.
I am a girl
I am shorter than 5’4.
I think I’m ugly.
I have many scars.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I want a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my body.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have a piercing in a place other than my ears
I have freckles.
I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve run away from home.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I’m in school.
I’ve lost a child.
I have a job.
I’ve fallen asleep at work/school.
I almost always do/did my homework.
I’ve missed a week or more of school.
I’ve stolen something from my job.
I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I’ve peed from laughing.
I’ve snorted while laughing
I’ve cried from laughing so hard.
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve had my pants rip in public.
I was born with a disease/impairment.
I’ve broken a bone.
I’ve gotten stiches/staples.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
I’ve had chicken pox.
I’ve had measles.
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been to Canada.
I’ve been to Mexico.
I’ve been to Niagra Falls.
I’ve been to Japan.
I’ve celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I’ve been to Europe
I’ve been to Africa.
I’ve been to Hawaii.
I’ve gotten lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star.
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
I’ve been to a casino
I’ve been skydiving.
I’ve gone skinny dipping.
I’ve played spin the bottle.
I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a play.
I’ve met someone in person from Facebook.
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern lights.
I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
I’ve played chicken.
I’ve played a prank on someone
I’ve ridden in a taxi.
I’ve seen Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I’ve eaten sushi.
I’ve been snowboarding.
I’m single.
I’m in a relationship.
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I’ve been the dumped more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I’ve gotten divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve kept something from a past relationship.
I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
I’ve hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.
I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I’ve snuck out of my house.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve cheated on a test.
I’ve run a red light.
I’ve been suspended from school.
I’ve witnessed a crime.
I’ve been in a fist fight.
I’ve been arrested.
I’ve passed out from drinking.
I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
I’ve smoked.
I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
I’ve eaten mushrooms.
I’ve inhaled Nitrous.
I’ve done hard drugs.
I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
i have 3 pills at a time no problem.
I have been diagnosed with depression.
I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
I’ve taken an anti-depressant.
I have been anorexic or bulimic
I’ve spent an entire day without needing to go pee.
I’ve slept in past 2 pm.
I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
I’ve woken up crying.
I’m afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I’ve seen someone dying.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.
I’ve planned my own suicide.
I’ve attempted suicide.
I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own an IPod or an MP3 player.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own something from Hot Topic.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect comic books.

last song

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then 

He was there. right after me, listen to the radio while i'm busy on my computer. he was my only one soul mate to chat, about anything. when my mom doesn't know a thing and my brother doesn't understand a thing. we both are the perfect couple in our house. my ear big just like him, my eyebrows thick, just like him, my mind set just like him. he once made me cry. and also made me laugh. 

Spin me around till I fell asleep 
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved 

I can't watch tv without remembering his favorite shows, I can't eat without remembering his favorite dishes, i can't listen musics without remembering his favorite song, I can't look around the house without remember his favorite spot. I can't write without remember his handwriting. I just can't. without him. These five days feel just like him going out of town to work and will go home as soon as possible. I keep looking for a door and telling myself, he'll be right there again. I also keep looking at my phone and telling myself, he'll call. 

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him 
I’d play a song that would never, ever end 
How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again 

View months ago, he always bothers me to play some of his favorite song while I'm on the internet. I've download some and arrange them into a playlist I named, lagu papa. Usually we both sing along all of these songs, and there's nothing I can do to help my bad voice when trying to reach some refrains high note and that made him laugh. I play it again now, and there's nothing I can do to help myself didn't cry.

If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again 

what can I do about being tough? 
I miss him already. 

Dance with my Father - Luther Vandross
5 th of November 2011 - Rest In Peace my Beloved Father.
selamat jalan pa, sampai ketemu lagi nanti. 
ade sayang papa