The journey of the soul

you don't have a soul, you are a soul. you have a body - C S Lewis
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i can hardly explain things i felt. a 'feeling' itself is something i can't describe by words. but it do exist. like a soul. we feel it exist in our body without we touch or even see it. those are my feeling when i listen to alcest. they really do brings me to my own space and place. makes me comfortable somehow.
Alcest - that is music from another world, a world that is real, but that exists beyond ours and cannot be grasped by our senses. A world where all appearances - trees, glades, streams - emit a pearly light and where a faraway and celestial music fills the air like sweet perfume. A world inhabited by infinitely benevolent and protective beings of light, communicating in a wordless 'language' directly from one soul to another. A world where the soul knows neither pain nor sickness nor sorrow, but is filled with a deep peace and an ineffable bliss. A world that lies 'before' and 'after,' 'beside' and 'behind' our world and the awareness of which stills mankind's fears of death. This world is no dream and no fantasy. Neige, the creative mind of Alcest, knows it - he has experienced it and keeps memories of how it revealed itself to him in the form of esoteric experiences in his early life. Alcest is his medium to come to terms with these memories and to share them with others. -via
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 Les Voyages de Lame, Alcest third album got my love as much as their second album Ecailles de Lune which i personaly in crush with the single Sur l'ocĂ©an couleur de fer. i don't know if it was normal or not but everytime i feel sick right in my heart i'll start put my earphone, play this song while i close my eyes and lying down in bed and suddenly feel better. even if i didn't understand what that songs means. it written by french. i know what the meanings are, i mean, i've google the lyrics, english translation and stuff. but i won't say i understand.
because i don't understand. never. will not. but i feel it, in my soul.

Your affectionate grandaughter,


I was reading this letter and find myself feel warm. first of all, maybe because I still have my grandma alive by my side. I can't say that she still health like us. normal people in normal age. but I'd like to say that she still health as normal as she can be. next of all, if I can write a letter to her, this is the letter gonna be.
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My dear oldmom,
 I don't know if you can read this clearly or not. if not, you can wear your glass I place right next to you, yes that yellow-transparent glasscase. or you can also find other person to read this for you, I hope he/she can read my write as well as he/she can read my feeling for you.
this is ayrine. I know you always forget my name and makes me feel kind of sad, but it's okay because you never forget who ayrine is.
all I want to say is the reason why i always ask you to tell me your story. why 'today we haven't chat yet, tell me a story' is my first sentence to you every night I came back home. I love how you laugh, maybe the first laugh on the day, just because I ask. I love your first laugh to begin every answer. maybe it means 'why she care' or 'I'd love to'
I love your story. about you and your past life, you and everything. it mesmerize me every time I hear it. I lways wish I can travel to that time. to your time of your life. maybe when you were a teenage, maybe when you were still in highschool. I can tell that we're gonna be friend. a bestfriend is some possibilities too.

your second grandchild,
yes, that ayrine.