hello! it's holiday season here, and I'm writing this from a porch where all you can see are the potted plant. It's August again! my father month. I just wanted to say Happy birthday in advance for him trough this post. (and trough a prayer too, maybe tonight) actually I kinda feel nothing special about birthday, specially mine. I'm finding it not so important whatsoever. I don't know why. Remembering about it is the most thing I can do about my birthday. For me, a birthday present isn't that special. A present for nothing is way more special. like, when someone give you a gift on the one ordinary day for no reason.

Back to August. I tune my father songs every year on his birthday. I made playlist content his favorite songs which he always told me to play the moment he saw me turn on my computer. We have this kind of habit to sharing thoughts, what we read on books, latest newspaper issues, people and music. Including the singer, lyric, and all. We share like, everything science and art. He really is someone I can talk to. The only someone. So I can say I feel really at lost months after he was gone. Big time. It almost two years but still make me blue (a bit quoting Ray Charles)

so, there's this list:
Ray Charles - I can't stop loving you
Jimmy Cliff - I can see clearly now
Luther Vandross - dance with my father
John Lennon - mother
Louis Armstrong - wonderful world
Elvis Presley - love me tender
Tom Jones - without love there is nothing

those are seriously songs that my father was begin to hear, weeks before he was gone. Songs mostly about memories of your parents, about losing someone you love and you just can't go on with life. It was just coincidence or he wants to be rememberd sadly beautiful or what? I just keep wondering. But you gave the wonderful part too dad, so they flow well I think. And yes. I do missing you. really, what are you doing now? Mom and your son aren't very dependable. I've got stories to tell.

Happy birthday in advance, Dad
Love you.