I REMEMBER READING this book about different worlds exist with different rule of time. One that catch my memory is the world where people discovered that time moves slowly the farther from the center of earth. So people build their house as high as they could. They build their shelter at the top of the mountain feeling secure that youth will stay with them longer than whoever at lower level of earth. At this point, I was thought what's so glorious about live young as long as you can when you'll get old eventually, about live as long as you can when you'll die eventually. But the idea of staying a little longer from wrinkle are kind of tempting maybe.

Now & Then

source - edited
Making list + reminiscing : nice combination! I saw this meme at Srslyliz blog, and would like to give it a try. first of, Liz had that kind of teenage-to-adult phase, while me, well I realized that I hadn't had any drastic changes therefore I could still find the past me in me present. but really what could change one into sort of mature version of themselves. I need to know

now : reading + music 
then : friends + trip + music

Listening to
now : singer songwriter like damien rice,
sufjan stevens, radical face, lana del rey,
tallest man on earth and british rock too.
then : the beatles, the trees and the wild,
janet jackson, latin classic, louis armstrong

now : romcom still but I can't stand any cheesy drama anymore.
I love suspense and some of indie animation like mary and max.
then : asian drama, romantic comedy, horror 

now: more open + thinker + free
then: careless + picky about friends {actually didn't really like 'people' in general}

I'm really not the type of girl who have some kind of their own style 
and didn't really care about what to wear and just go with whatever. 
Wait, I'm thinking now, I can't remember any of my highschool style at all! 
probably too embarrassed to think about.. okay, t-shirt, my brother 
band t-shirt {when it too small for him}, 
my mother dress or skirt {that too small for her} and etc
about now, sweater are currently my favorite, fitted or oversize, 
woolen, chunky knit, all of them. 
{still} t-shirt, flannel button-up, casual dress

now : young adult novel + reference books 
then : translated Japan comic, goosebumps, 
and harry potter of course

now : medium + layered
then : long with bangs, one you saw at shampoo 
commercial {and I'm not lying} my teenage time hair 
are healthier than ever and boring as hell

now : travel to other countries + design and build 
+ write more
then : making film + write
Although the time different wasn't much of the distant, there are some real changes happened. and also changes that barely there too. Okay so, this would be the end part of this entry and honestly quite hate meme games, it expose too much. but I did it anyway.


I KNOW BOOK REVIEW is plainly uninteresting and I can't so much write a review without spoil something I shouldn't, so I would just do the quick write about what I'm feeling now. Right after I finished the fault in our stars. I know T.Rex is just not the right music background but I listened to electric warrior couple of times in repeat while I was read the copy anyway.
     So, my feel. quoting other book character: 'I'm feeling infinite'
     but of course some infinite are bigger than other infinite (quoting Van Houten) so, I didn't mean to tell you these are anything important. but still. First of, I think everyone basically need their Augustus Waters, maybe not in those blue eyes and gorgeous crooked smile, and hope not the one-leg one but everyone need that kind of teenage love. or maybe that kind of love at their teenage. miraculous. I'm saying that if someone ever got this kind of mutual relationship like Hazel and Gus then it would be miraculous.
     I love the fact that John Green made up a great old author character with the author's story plot and all, a game and a novelization of the game and all. first I think, how could his mind worked things out but then I realise I'm reading how. and it books within book. some talent. Originally, I was never quite like stories about illness suffered by the main character, {serious illness like, cancer}I found it unnecessary exaggerating real part of life, I mean we can so much pull a string of sadness from daily life, from failing from brokenhearted love and all but why are we need to put a serious illness and dying person into the story to make the sad. but then, the whole story was never about the sadness {as people keep mentioning how much they cry after finished it, I myself cry too though but not because I was sad by the death and the ill} it's complicatedly because of the words. Word hazel and gus said to each others, simple conversation, how they sentence pain into something elegant, simple and honest and often funny. its hurt.
And also surprise! things actually never worked out in an illness-suffered-by-the-main-character story. sigh.
I grew understand a little bit more about cancer too and that one feel I can't put into phrase
some of my favorite words:
'The weird thing about houses is the way they almost look like nothing is happening inside of them, even though they contain most of our lives. I wondered if that was sort of the point of architecture'
{off sad topic}
how could this sentence didn't catch me right? thoughtful reflects about the simplest point of architecture
A few days later, at Gus’s house, his parents and my parents and Gus and me all squeezed around the dining room table, eating stuffed peppers on a tablecloth that had, according to Gus’s dad, last seen use in the previous century.
My dad: “Emily, this risotto . . .”
My mom: “It’s just delicious.”
Gus’s mom: “Oh, thanks. I’d be happy to give you the recipe.”
Gus, swallowing a bite: “You know, the primary taste I’m getting is not-Oranjee.”
Me: “Good observation, Gus. This food, while delicious, does not taste like Oranjee.”
My mom: “Hazel.”
Gus: “It tastes like . . .”
Me: “Food.”
Gus: “Yes, precisely. It tastes like food, excellently prepared. But it does not taste, how do I put this delicately . . . ?”
Me: “It does not taste like God Himself cooked heaven into a series of five dishes which were then served to you accompanied by several luminous balls of fermented, bubbly plasma while actual and literal flower petals floated down all around your canal-side dinner table.”
Gus: “Nicely phrased.”
Gus’s father: “Our children are weird.”
My dad: “Nicely phrased.”
Simply my favorites. you know parents. and family warm my heart.
There are view more parts and words that I love but it's two in the morning and I'm so sleepy, I think I will continue this tomorrow or not. maybe not. yeah no. overall it's a great book for passing an afternoon, to thinking about life and love and bestfriends and a bit of Netherlands. lol.
     PS. Are they really making a film?? stupid question! I just saw the trailer and the boy really is cute. Clink our glasses for Gus Waters.
'I'm on a rollercoaster that only goes up, my friend'
can't wait for June!