Post Secret

everybody has a secret. I, too have couple of them.
But when people asked to be shared their secrets anonymously,
some of it left me in awe. How life and perspective of human
can be so quirky and sad at the same time.
This BLOG and THIS
- enjoy some deepest notes you'll ever read.


I did a small scale of migration. I moved in to other room for sleep or study or staying up all night doing my task. My old room is smaller and hot and have this packed feeling I'm uncomfortable with. So I decided to hijacked my parents old bedroom. My mom used to sleep at my grandma's room after my dad passed away. My grandma was deceased not so long after my dad and so my mom practically stayed in my grandma's room for good.

My parents bedroom is larger than mine, have this pretty big pair of windows that have view to our potted plants and mango tree outside the house. How nice.

it's been so long since I wanted this room. This room had a lot of my childhood memories.
I used to sleep here with my mom, dad and my brother. The room is pretty big with one king size bed and a single size double bed for my brother and I. We liked to spending time reading a bible, praying and singing together before went to sleep. I remember standing bare feet on the bed singing whatever song I like. Even now, even how cold rainy nights are, I'm feeling rather warm here. Of course there are no bed at all, all I got was this mattress, in the middle of space-wasted and three closets frame three sides of the room. This surely need some kind of decorating. But my mom, still reluctant to let me move here officially. My stuffs are still in my room. Two pillows, guitar, uke, laptop and a small folding table are all that I could have brought with me.

I need to start operation hijacking soon. You know move my mom closet and bags to my room and bring my closet and desk table here, and all.
The point is I really need this pretty big windows, night air, sounds of rain for my sleep.
Just don't tell my mom guys.
we'll gonna start operation hijacking soon!


Everything is still the same.

January, second day, and everything seems appear just like three or four days ago.
My mango tree still look bloom although it's just leaves stuffy. My hair still in medium length and black like they always are. We're still out of vegetables for our lunch. I'm still waiting for my pile of laundry being wash inside the machine at this kind of hour. There are this not-so-tasty instant coffee at my right and untuned nylon guitar at my left. They are all look the same just like they did three or four days ago in 2014.
The point is that they supposed to look different in 2015 but they don't. Except that I didn't look at them in the same way again. We're still out of vegetables for lunch is the same, but our dining table only have four chairs now. My mango tree still leaves stuffy but now I've to checked it by myself to make sure there isn't any fruit.
Things changing bit by bit every single day. Things are very dynamic they almost look ordinary.

I'm currently starving and use a slice of cucumber for my left eye while writing this.

I've plan on post something about 2014, a quick review and whatnot but when I'm actually in front of this post editor:I don't know what to write.
Looking back to my last year new year post which also written in the second of january, there are actually very big changes compare to now. I brought all of sadness I want to forget while writing that post a year ago. but now, I remember all of good things. Memories that are so good I'd feel betraying if I write about them. So good that I wanted to keep it for myself. So good it's too ordinary to write.

I take a bite of my cucumber,
taste better than my coffee.

New year itself will get old in a blink of weeks. Let's just not act special about it
but simply said:
Happy new year! welcome to the new age of queer {again}

I think the wash machine just clicked